Orna-MENTAL

Recently, a helpful friend of mine pointed out to me just how many weeks, days, and hours it had been since my last blog post.  She was wondering when I might feel inspired again.  I explained to her that I try to keep this blog about happy, positive things.  And since our lives have resembled a chapter straight out of A Series of Unfortunate Events since Thanksgiving, I haven't had much good to write about.
It's enough to drive a girl mental.
You know...call the crazy house and reserve a bed kind of "mental".
But then I looked at my bare-except-for-lights Christmas tree and decided to go ORNA-mental instead.  I will put it all on the tree.
Here is a little car that I smashed up with a hammer on the front end to represent the real car Parker wrecked.  (He wasn't hurt at all...Christmas miracle!)
And hanging from a pretty red ribbon is the burned out furnace plates we had to replace last week.
A tiny gas can to remind me that I ran out of gas IN OUR DRIVEWAY the other morning before school.
And that Dust Bunny on a hook?  That tells the story of my broken vacuum cleaner.  Thank goodness I have a generous sister who lives a few miles away and is willing to share her Hoover.
But wait...here's another box of ornaments!
These will remind me of what DIDN'T happen to me this Christmas season.
I place an ugly little elf on the tree.  And although I occasionally still have nightmares in which a purple dinosaur sings through his large nose about his love for me, I thank my lucky stars that my kids aged out before Elf on a Shelf made his appearance!  At least Barney was in charge of his own magic and didn't expect me to move him around in the middle of the night.
And this subpoena over here by the bottom branch?  That reminds me that I DIDN'T have to go to court this week.  (Dear Crazy Lady, I'm your kids TEACHER not your custody mediator!)
And here's one more - a dollar bill - to show how I DIDN'T lose the kids' Christmas.  Like that layer of fat around your heart that your body won't let you use, even if you starve to death, I craftily held on to the Christmas money by hiding it in the deep freeze in a bowl labeled "leftover pea soup".  Neither Hubby nor Insurance Agent managed to find it.  So our annual Family Christmas Shopping Day is safe!
There...finished!
Now I have a full tree... and a full heart!
Merry Christmas :)