This Thanksgiving our family experienced another "first." The addition of a new job for Hillary meant the subtraction of one child from our family trip to visit seldom-seen loved ones.
And we all felt the jolt of life changing tracks.
Hillary sat on the couch as we prepared to leave.
"This is weird," she said. "It's so weird for Dad not to be yelling at me to get packed. It's weird to know I'm not going with you."
And it was weird for us too.
Weird in a stretching sort of way...you feel the pull, and it hurts, but just barely.
So off we went...Parker fully enjoying the emptiness of the backseat...Dad and Me looking forward and not back...and we ate and hugged and laughed and loved.
It would have been easy to mourn the way things used to be.
But to be sad would have been to pile guilt on Hillary and steal joy from Parker.
Instead, I chose to take pride in her new-found Independence and allow her to feel Satisfaction in a well-earned paycheck.
I chose to cherish the fact that I was getting to spend this holiday with Parker as he played Hero to starry-eyed younger cousins and showed respect to wizened elders.
We thought about Hillary, and she thought about us. I texted her funny anecdotes and sent her a picture of the bulging, over-the-top food table. And she texted me details about spending Thanksgiving Day with my sister...eating...cuddling with the dog and cats...putting up the Christmas Tree. And then about working Black Friday and how it wasn't as bad as she'd feared. She said "hi" on speaker phone to the gathered relatives.
It's easy to see life as All or Nothing. But the reality is that every moment...every situation...has Something.
And this Thanksgiving, I'm thankful for Somethings!
1 comment:
That's right. Always look forward and focus on what you have, not on what you no longer have. No regrets for the way you've raised her, and are raising him. MOM
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