What we leave behind...and what we don't

Lately people have been asking me if I'm doing alright.  They are referring to my oldest child leaving home.  She's been in college for a couple of years, but it was a junior college and she still lived with us.  A few weeks ago she transferred to a major university to live in the dorms.
I started to have a moment when she and I went down to her room to pack her stuff.  It felt overwhelming, and sad.  I didn't even know where to start.
And then I started to notice what kind of things she was taking and leaving behind.  I made sure she had her clothes and computer and school supplies.  She made sure she took her 4 inch heels and the Bobba Fett bobble head her boyfriend gave her.  Who needs an umbrella or gloves?  We had to make room for the picture of her on her bike when she was 5.  And the poster she stole from the storage room of the art department at her old school.
I couldn't help but chuckle inside.
And when it was all said and done, she left so much in her room that I knew she would be coming back!
We settled her into her dorm room and drove the 3 hours back home without Chatty Cathy in the backseat.
And for the first couple of days I thought about her SO many times... I was curious how her classes were going and if the meal plan was working and if she was happy.  But I made myself give her space to spread her wings.
And then she texted me.  And called.  Every day I heard from her about the details of her new and exciting life.  Instead of losing a part of me, I was gaining new experiences vicariously.  I never lived in a dorm or had an all night "jam" session with my musician friends.  But now I felt like I was there.
She was home last weekend to visit and I asked her, now that she had been there several weeks, what was one thing that was better than expected.  The showers, she said.  The water was always hot and there was always one open even though the whole floor shares the shower room.  Then I asked her what she missed about home.  I thought she might say cable tv and dvr, or her privacy, or homecooked meals.  But her answer was "mostly you and dad".
So I am not afraid.  Even though she is moving on, our connection remains strong.
We are the thing she can't take with her.  But we have not been left behind.