Someone's Child

Sometimes parenting is so much fun.
Sometimes parenting is very rewarding.
And sometimes it is just flat out HARD!  Sometimes it feels like a big fat sack of thankless responsibility.
Like those times when you have to set boundaries for your kid for their own good and they don't understand it.  Or when you have to say no to something they want.  And the conversation might go something like this..
"All I want is..."
Yes, child, but you can't see how getting that thing will lead to things you DON'T want. When Dad and I say no, there is a good reason.  We never say no just for saying no's sake.
"You don't understand!"
Actually, I do.  In this case YOU are the one who doesn't understand.  But that's ok because I have had the experience, and you haven't.  So whether you understand or not, I will help you do the right thing.
"I'm mad because you didn't give me..."
I know.  But you seem to forget all the things I HAVE given you.

And then I hear God standing right behind me clearing his throat.
Because lately, I've been feeling like a thwarted child.
"God, all I want is for my sister to be healed of cancer...my kids to be happy all the time...my job to be easy....  Why are you telling me no?"
When I say no, it is for a good reason.  I never say "no" just for saying no's sake.
"But you don't understand!"
Actually, I do.  In this case YOU are the on who doesn't understand.  But that's ok because I can see the whole picture and you can't.  So whether you understand or not, I will do the right thing for you.
"I'm mad because you didn't give me...more money, less pain, the answer I wanted..."
I know, dear little daughter that I love, but you seem to forget all the things I HAVE given you.

And like someone's Child, I cry and pout.  But like someone's Child, I still love my Parent.
And hopefully, I grow.  Like I have seen my own children do.

Someday, my kids will have kids.  And they will see things in a whole new way.  Just as someday, I will sit with my Father and understand.  But for now, I will give my child grace and love.  And I will rest in the Grace and Love given to me. Because I am Someone's Child.

Good Times, Best Years

I recently overheard a group of women talking about how hectic their lives are. How they are so busy with their babies and preschoolers that they can't even go to the bathroom alone.  An older grandmother sighed, "Yes, but they are the best years of your life."

I wanted to shout, "Don't say that!"

Lord knows I remember those days.  Sleepless nights, early mornings, ear infections, diapers, preschool field trips, Barbie dolls and motorcycles littering the floor, finding quality daycare, PAYING for quality daycare, t-ball games, sunday school, reading books and watching cartoons.  And they WERE good days.  Baby bath perfume and snuggles, tickle-fests, birthday parties, and complete control over where they went and who they were with. 

But to think that those are the best years and it's all downhill from there is a little sad.  

With each new stage, my children brought me good things and bad.  Challenges and new ways to have fun.  Learned new things themselves and taught me new things about myself.  

Even the dreaded "teenage" years have brought us joy and laughter along with bouts of emotional angst.

And now my children are launching into their own lives and I suddenly have more time to pursue hobbies that used to be only a dream.  Hubby and I have big chunks of time to go on mini-dates or attend a bible study together or just sit and watch tv (and watch what WE want to watch!).  I use the bathroom alone.

So if you asked me to pick the best years of my life, I would have to say...ALL of them!

They have not all been easy.

But they have all been good.

The Last One

As we pulled into the garage, Hubby said, "I need to mow this yard tomorrow."
We got out and walked toward the door.  Hubby stopped to pick up the gas can to make sure he had enough for the mower.
But the can was empty!
Hubby just shook his head, snorted a little like a bull about to charge, and said, "That kid!"
Apparently Parker had run out of his allotted gas money for the month.  Being the resourceful kid we have raised him to be, he raided the lawn mower gas.
I couldn't help laughing.
Through the years, Hubby has lost tools one by one, had his dolly cart robbed of it's wheels, opened the match box to start the grill only to find it empty of matches, and had his favorite snacks devoured while he slept.  Just the other day, I sent Hubby to the store for some chicken breasts and he came back with two bags of Chips Ahoy.  One of them was some new concoction with peanut butter cup chips.  Hubby LOVES peanut butter.   I'm sure he wanted to dig into them right then and there, but like a good grown up, he waited til after supper. We ate and then had to go to bible study.  Hubby shoved a few cookies in his mouth before we left.  When we got home both cookie packages were missing.  Seeing the steam start to come out of  Hubby's ears I sent Parker a quick text. "Please tell me the cookies are not all gone!"
"There are some regular ones down here" he texted from the basement den.  "But the peanut butter ones are gone.  And I didn't eat them all, I swear."  Having a friend who practically lives at our house comes in handy sometimes...
As I tried to console my peanut butter-deprived man, he pointed out to me that the kids NEVER take my last bit of snacks.  I pointed out that I eat healthy stuff that the kids wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole.  Then I remembered that they have both saved the last can of Coke for me on various occasions.  Hubby believes this is due to their great fear of me.  I choose to believe it's their great love for me.
Either way, it will all be over soon.  Today, we went to watch Parker march in a band competition.  We started going to this competition 6 years ago when Hillary began Varsity Band.  And as we walked up the sidewalk, I said, "Well, this is the last time we will do this."
Kids grow up and eventually have little ones of their own who will steal their cookies, lawn mower gas, and hearts.  And Hubby and I will remain, with full cookie bags and gas cans, and an empty house.  So I will laugh and enjoy Parker.  He is my Last One.

Not My Cup of Tea

Last weekend we traveled to a family reunion.  And, in a way, it was a mini-family reunion for us and our kids as well.  Not only did Hillary and Parker go with us, but they brought along their boyfriend and girlfriend.  I borrowed my dad's minivan and we packed it full of people and pillows, bags and boxes.  We drove into the sunrise with high spirits and McDonald's breakfasts.  We played the "cd game" where we took turns picking numbers (one for a cd, and the other for the track on that cd).  It was fun.  For a while.
Thirteen hours later, (after more food, a wedding, more food, visiting, and more food) we finally made it to the place we were staying.  I did what I always do...I made coffee.
My children are not coffee drinkers, so I only made a few cups.  I came down the stairs with my steamy mug and Parker's girlfriend said, "You made coffee?"
"Yep" I replied.
"Oooh..I want some!"
"Me too!" piped Hillary's boyfriend.
And that was the moment I knew...
My children had picked well.
Throughout the years I have been careful to not give my opinion away when it comes to my children's "significant others".  I learned early that the quickest way to get them to ditch a good one or hold on to a bad one was for a Parental Figure to voice a comment.  Besides, I am not the one who needs to like the person.  As long as my child likes them and they treat my babies well, I will be happy.
But drinking coffee is a definite plus.
Fortunately, both my children are currently in relationships with people who blend well with the family, have personality, seem to like my kids back, and are good looking to boot! They seem to be just my kids' cup of tea.
And my cup of coffee.

Spot On

Hubby loves to lift weights.
Me? Not so much.
But in an effort to love my man...and since I am tired of not being able to open my own jars...I have agreed to go to the weight room with him a few nights a week.
Not wanting to miss out on the fun, Parker is joining us.
And so, it has become a family affair.  Which I am LOVING!
The first night, I expected to be given my list of lifts, and for us all to be doing our workouts simultaneously.  How silly of me.  Apparently, there is an etiquette to this.  We all stand around the same machine.  I go, they rearrange the weights (which means they actually put some ON), Hubby goes, and then Parker goes.  It seemed like a huge waste of time to me, until Hubby explained that doing it this way gives everyone's muscles "rest time" between lifts.  I should have known men would figure out a way to let themselves rest without being obvious about it!
But this routine has other benefits as well.  When I am lifting, one of them "spots" me.  It's their job to watch how I'm doing it, correct me if I am doing something wrong, and help me if I get in trouble.  It hit me as I watched Hubby spotting Parker that this was a perfect physical picture of our family's love for one another.  Parker was bent over the bench, pulling back his arm with a weight in his hand, and Hubby was right beside him, with his own strong arms hovering close to Parkers, big hands touching Parker's elbow, supporting without actually taking the weight from him.  Because thats what kind of Dad he is. Patient and available, without taking over.
When the weight is too heavy, or you've been lifting it for too long, there is someone beside you to either make it lighter, or encourage you to push through until you get to the end.  It's not about taking the weight out of your hands, because that would never make you stronger.  Your Spotter is focused on you, talking to you the whole time, "You can do it!  Come on, three more... a little higher...don't forget to breathe..." And when it's their turn to lift, you do the same for them.
When it's over, you are all a little sweaty, a little sore, and a little stronger.
There have been plenty of times I have worried if we are doing it right.  But as I watch our little family work together through tough times, I am realizing that we are Spot On!

Senior Moments

It's 6:45 a.m.
My phone buzzes.
"Come down here and tell me if this looks good."

I smile..
It's the first day of Senior Year for Parker and I'm not sure who is more nervous, me or him!  Summer was a fast-moving river with lots of debris and now here we stand on the shores of the Last First Day.  We hadn't really talked about it much, and it seemed like no big deal.
Until the night before.
In true Parker fashion, he decided at the last minute that he needed to go school clothes shopping.  He thought, if I didn't have anything to do, I could run him to JC Penney (which is our ONLY option out here in the boondocks) to get a few new shirts.
I'm pretty sure he thinks I NEVER have anything to do....besides anticipate his last minute needs.
Anyway, I had Open House for my first graders, so I sent Hubby with him.
They came home with smiles on their faces, stories about their search, and three sharp-looking shirts for the price of one.  Parker disappeared into his room to try on every shirt with various pants...sleeves rolled up...sleeves rolled down...this pair of Adidas or that one.

And now it was morning, and he still hadn't narrowed it down.
I headed down the stairs.
I jokingly quipped as I entered his room.. "I'll tell you what looks good if you'll tell me."
I was wearing khakis and a silky top.  And flip flops.
He looked me over and said, "Lose the flip flops."
I blinked (his honesty is valuable, but abrupt sometimes) and ran upstairs to change shoes.
I came back in a pair of tan slip on dress shoes.
"God, no!  I HATE those shoes!"
Back up and down the stairs.
Black puma tennis shoes?  I was almost afraid to ask.
He glanced at me and pronounced.  "Yep.  That's better."
Having had my morning Stair Workout, we could finally turn our attention to HIS clothes which was supposedly the reason I was there...
Three changes later, he was finally happy with his ensemble, and we did the whole "stand on the front porch with your backpack and pose" first-day-of-school pics.
He looked good!
And apparently, so did I ;)
Whatever will I do when he's gone?  Who will keep me from shame when I have a Senior Moment and start to think flip flops go with khakis?
For now, I will just enjoy my handsome son posing on the porch and enjoy HIS Senior Moments.

Upended

I was away from the house the other day when I got a text from my dad.  He had gone over to borrow one of Hubby's tools.  His text said, "There is an upended lawn mower in your front yard.  Is that normal around here?"

"Yes," I responded. "Yes it is.  Welcome to my world."

  

 

Because the unusual is common when boys live in your house.

When I was pregnant with Parker and found out he was going to be a boy, I panicked.  I did not like boys much.  The ones I had known were loud and rough and gross.  And it was really hard to find cute outfits with matching shoes and bows for boys.  I don't like sports or Monster Trucks.  What on earth would I do with a boy??

And then he muscled his way into the world and stole my heart completely. 

Oh, he was loud and messy, and turned every bent stick into a toy gun (no matter how much I tried to civilize him by banning violent play).  But his chubby cheeks fit perfectly into the curve of my neck when we snuggled.  And his one little curl perfectly framed the purple bruise that seemed to live on his forehead from age 1 to at least 3. (Thank goodness he was hard headed ;)

I was transformed.  I became that mom who always had a Hot Wheel in her purse, a HandiWipe in her pocket, and an ear tuned for that inevitable it's-too-quiet-in-there sound.

And now I am the kind of mom who lives among this...

 

and this... (but we made a seat belt...see?  it's perfectly safe)

I have a random empty jug hanging from my backyard tree limb, extra cars in my driveway, and extra boys in my basement.  My TV is so complicatedly hooked up to video games, I can't turn it on when I'm home by myself. 

I have broken bicycle parts in my garage, NO money in my checkbook, and no food in my cabinets.

But I have soooo much joy in my heart!

I am thankful my life got upended.