The Gift

This week our church held their annual Christmas pageant. It was just a simple compilation of skits, songs, and readings...kind of corny, but mostly sweet and funny. Hillary and her friend performed a singing Christmas card (which they wrote and choreographed on their own). It made everyone laugh. Later the youth group performed a beautiful sign language/dance to O Holy Night. And then toward the end, Hillary sang a worship song with the youth pastor and a few of the other kids. As they sang "Lord, I'm amazed by you.....Lord, I'm amazed by you.....how you love me" silent tears dripped down my cheeks. Because I am amazed. Amazed at God and how he works. Christmas is about the gift of a baby to the world. And as I watched my amazing girl sing, I was thinking that 16 years ago I was the 16 year old, holding my own new baby and trying to see how this gift of life was going to work out okay. I was terrified and ashamed...trying to act strong while fiercely holding onto my hopes, dreams, sanity, and a scrawny teenaged boy (who was just as afraid as I). I was pretty sure I had incinerated my own future as well as the lives of most of the people who love me. But God gives beauty for ashes. And as I've watched Hillary grow I see that he has given her a special portion of grace and beauty. She brings joy to those around her. She's creative and musical. She's beautiful on the inside and out. She talks to me about her life and makes me laugh and loves to read and gets good grades. I've joked before that she's too good to be true. But I think God just wanted to counteract the pain surrounding her entry into this life by pouring out blessing on her. And on me. For what better way to bring joy to a mother's heart than by making her child blossom and shine. But he didn't stop there. He gave me a sweet and sensitive son who knows when I need a hug, and never fails to make me laugh with his antics. And that scrawny teenaged boy grew into a man who loves me strong and well. I have a good life...a gift that just keeps on giving.