Life Song

Why do we expect our kids to be just like we are?
Thank God they're not!
Recently, I was scheduled to sing the solo at church. I tried not to think about it til Saturday night. When I finally got around to choosing a song, it was one that sounds better with harmony. So I asked Hillary if she'd mind singing with me. Her face lit up...and with not a second of hesitation she said, "Sure! What's the song?" There was no sense of duty or obligation. There was only pure joy at being asked, and open-hearted pleasure at the chance to share her talent.
I've been singing in front of people since I was two. I can't remember not performing. I took it for granted and assumed everyone could sing. I was often asked to do it, and sang for weddings, funerals, revival services, and even a local TV telethon once. But as I got older, the fear got stronger. What if I mess up? Forget the words? Miss a note? Show the world that I'm not as good as they think I am? So I masked my fear with confidence and tried to convince myself it was real.
Then came a time in my life where I became unworthy for the church platform. My sin was evident for all to see. And I suddenly had an excuse to refuse requests to sing. For years I sat back, only using my talent occasionally, when someone pressed and begged and made me feel guilty enough that I couldn't refuse.
And finally...through many tears, prayers, sermons, messages in tongues, and sessions with a wise Christian counselor...God and I came to a solution. We made a deal. I didn't have to be worthy. I only had to be willing. And if I was willing, he would do the rest. I wasn't singing for me. I wasn't singing for others. I was singing for him.
So now, when I'm asked, I try always to say yes. But it doesn't come easy. And that's okay...for it keeps me dependent on Him instead of me.
And I'm sure there will be something in Hillary's life that makes her hold onto God with both hands. But for now, she shares her multiple talents with joy...and an unscarred heart. She sings and dances and writes and draws and takes pictures...and loves it! Her exuberance overflows onto those of us around her.
And it heals me.