No No

When my kids were toddlers, I used to joke that they would think their name was "No No" because it seemed like that's all I ever said to them. I think anyone who has ever lived through Christmas tree season with a 2 year old could understand.

But then I earned my degree in Child Development and was taught to be more positive. "Tell the child what you want them to do instead of what not to do."

And then I went to counseling and was taught to loosen my knuckle white grip of control over every thing remotely related to my family. "It's ok if their clothes don't match. It's not a reflection of your mothering."

And so we've floated along fairly smoothly down the river of time, and as my children show me respect and good judgement (most of the time) I respond by saying yes unless there is a reason to say no.

But sometimes I get busy and don't notice how much the four of us have allowed our loopy up and down and all around schedules and activities to mushroom. Until we start to suffer.

Like yesterday, when I came home from the chiropractor, who informed me that to keep my muscles from pulling my bones out of place, I needed to find a way to deal with my stress. Is it telling that when he corrected my posture (my shoulders are too rounded and my head is forward) I responded by thinking "How stupid of me! I will perfect my horrible posture right away."? And I immediately programed my phone to beep once a day to remind me to check my shoulder position. As if I had somehow purposefully chosen to defy the posture gods and was now being punished. Instead of thinking, "Ok. Now I know what the problem is, and how to correct it." But I digress.

I came home to dirty dishes and piles of laundry and tried to remember to breathe deeply and keep my shoulders back while making pizza. Parker headed straight for my room (his favorite tv watching spot). I didn't hear from him again for a while. Then Hillary came home and plopped on the couch. She was mysteriously and uncharacteristically quiet as well. When I finally checked on them, they were both sound asleep. In the middle of a Friday afternoon. They never do that.

And I realized it was time to call a time out for our family. But before I could get the words out my children took care of it themselves. Parker had originally planned for a friend to spend the weekend. That was cancelled at the last minute. Hillary had planned to go Cosmic bowling til the wee hours of the morning. But she chose on her own to stay home instead. We all just lay around together in front of the fireplace and watched lame tv and talked.

So maybe I'm not perfect. And I don't always keep us on the straight and narrow. But is that really a mother's job? What I really hope to do is to teach my children to see the signs of overcommitment on their own and make better choices from there. And last night proved to me that they get that.

Its ok to get off track sometimes. We are all human and that will happen. The important thing is to see that you're off track and adjust...before it's too late.

So do I think my family is perfect?

No.

But would I change them for the world?

NO NO!