A-dressing A Woman

I took Hillary dress shopping.

We both skipped school, grabbed the camera, sunglasses, and our trusty new Garmin, and headed off to the city in search of the perfect prom dress.

She knew exactly what she wanted...

Red.

Or maybe purple.

Mermaid style.

Store #1 -

Yes, I know. Not a red or purple mermaid dress in the bunch. But lots of pretty-ness. Except for one nude colored monstrosity that was so ugly we didn't bother to photograph it. As we were walking out of the store an old black lady stopped us. "Which one did you get?" "Oh, we are still looking...it's our first stop, you know." Then she proceeded to tell us her opinion. "Oooh. And they were so PRETTY. I don't know which one I liked best. I think the tan one. Mmmhmmmm. That tan one was BEEE-utiful!" Hillary and I barely held our giggles until we got out of the store. "Really! She liked the UGLIEST one best?!" So much for advice from strangers.

One coffee stop...two bathroom stops...and one shared piece of Sbarro's later...

Store #2 -

This was one of those outlet type stores where what they have is what you get. No special ordering. Digging through crowded racks is required. And the handwritten sign over the shower curtain covering the dressing room door screamed, "NO PHOTOS ALLOWED!"

Hillary entered the dressing room with an armful of rainbow colored fabric (clearly having no respect for the "3 dresses only" rule - also declared by handwritten sign) and I settled into a chair with my second cup of coffee to wait for the show.

A middle aged white lady in short sweat pants and glasses on a chain was helping two rather large black girls try on dresses in the next dressing room. They took turns coming out and standing in front of the three-way mirror, looking like sausages stuffed into their casings. Ms. Sweat Pants tried, but apparently there is no tailoring in the world that can make satin enlarge itself enough for the "sisters" on those girls. They left.

In the meantime, Hillary came out in a parade of dresses that were good, but not "right".

A tired looking white woman with a two toddlers and a tatooed man in tow came in to try on a long red dress. The three year old with a mullet passed the time performing his own version of "Talk Dirty to Me" in front of the mirrors - egged on by his redneck father. The woman came out smoothing down the front of the dress. "You think it will be okay? I mean, with a body shaper, of course..."

As they headed to the checkout, I couldn't help myself.

"That dress looks really pretty on you." I said. And I wasn't lying.

She looked at me with grateful eyes. "You think so? Thank you. Thank you a lot. That means a lot."

What was that I was saying about advice from a stranger?

Hillary finally came out in the PERFECT dress. Which I happen to have a picture of because I slyly slipped my foot through the camera strap and d-r-a-g-g-e-d it into the dressing room with me, evading the watchful eyes of the saleslady. (I don't know where Hillary learned to break the rules.)

Unfortunately, the price tag said $350. Undaunted, I called the tall Asian saleslady back there, telling her we had a question about a dress.

"Is this the price on this dress?" I asked.

She gave me a look that clearly said, "poor, stupid American" and stated, "This is price."

"It's not on sale?"

Again, slower this time, "This is price."

Okey dokey, then.

The dress went back in the plastic garment bag, and we went on our way.

Half an hour and 5 missed exits later (no I am not kidding - our poor Garmin was starting to smoke) we finally arrived at store #3. Hillary loaded up and hit the dressing room. I sat in a chair next to a Mexican mama with TWO daughters in tow.

Every dress was "bonita" and the prices here are "so reasonable."

And FINALLY, Hillary made her decision.

Beautiful, I know. Although remarkably like one from the FIRST store? Just like a woman...

And then it was on to shoes.

Aren't these cool?

We drove home in the sunshine, happy with our successful shopping day. (BTW we got the shoes AND the dress for $116 - because the saleslady generously gave us an extra 15% off!) And I thought about how many women it took to dress this young lady. And I smiled. Us girls have gotta stick together.