Grasping

I have a good life, and I know it.
But when winter comes with it's long dark nights and it's cold that seeps into my bones, I have to fight The Fall .  "Happy" things like Christmas decorations and colorful scarves and snowball fights sift through my gloved fingers without bringing me the joy others seem to revel in.
But I keep trying.
Grasping.
And I find things that feed my soul.
Little things like...a hot cup of coffee...my fireplace...Parker swinging his long legs into the car and his basketball bag over the seat into the back and asking if we can stop by sonic for a milkshake bc he KNOWS I'll say yes every time.
Things like my favorite TV show not being a re-run...my co-workers making me laugh until I cry...and a friend who never fails to answer my texts with lightning speed.
Hillary waking me up when she gets home from work, crawling in bed next to me and telling me stories about walmart and college.
Facebook.
Blogging.
And making my eternally effervescent husband chuckle because I am sitting in the dark wrapped in a blanket and taking every last second of the two minutes left before I absolutely HAVE to leave for work.
Little things...but big enough to wedge my cold fingers into like a rock climber scaling the mountainside, clinging to life.
So I count the days til Dec 21st when I get to start adding minutes of daylight again.
And I go to basketball games and teach first graders and wear layers and layers of clothing.
And I hold on to my little things.
And I remind myself that happiness is always within my grasp.