Little Angels

We went to the Christmas play at church last night.  Hubby and I walked in and found a seat, while Parker promptly ditched us to sit in the back with his friends.  I snuggled under my husband's arm while I watched other women dashing around with white sheets and headband halos, trying to make sure all the last minute details were taken care of.  And I thought, "I am so glad I'm not there anymore."  I have definitely paid my Christmas Program Dues in years past...Hubby and I were Joseph and Mary once, complete with a real live Parker-Jesus in a real live manger...I listened to Hillary practice her speaking and singing parts every year until I could say them myself in my sleep...and I even helped direct one program - including full choreography for each song.
But not this year.
This year Hillary wasn't even there, due to her new job.  And Parker wasn't about to put on sheep ears and get on stage.
And that was just fine with me.
Until a little girl with blonde curls played the piano, plinking out her simple Christmas song in un-even beats and missing a note here and there.
I was flooded with memories.  Hillary started piano when she was 4.  How many times did we sit through those hesitant notes until she became the fluid musician she is today?
And when two different little girls sang "Happy Birthday, Jesus" I heard it in Hillary's little girl voice, the s sounds lisping through her buck-teeth because she always sucked her thumb.
And those wise men looked a lot like a young Parker, making his "wise" face and cracking me up in the process.
I waited for tears to fill my eyes.
I waited for pain to stab my heart.
But none came.
There was only happiness.
Happiness that I had HAD those years.  That my children had lived and sang and worshiped baby Jesus.
And happiness for these children, who were getting their own chance to live it.  And their parents, who might not realize how much these rushed days would mean 10 years from now.
I smiled.  I clapped.  I savored.
And my heart thanked God for all the little angels.

Hillary 

Parker and his best friend Cassidy (aka Joseph and Mary)

Parker and Hillary as toys in Santa's toy shop