Coming up Short(s)

As I trudged in the door with my arms full of School Day, Parker sauntered by, "Mom, we need to get me some black biker shorts for the meet tomorrow."
"Ok," I said.
I cooked dinner.
I finished my novel.
I forgot.
Hours later, Parker came up the stairs.
"Mom!  My shorts!" (in an 'oh no' kind of panicked voice)
I glanced at the clock...threw down my book...and we raced into action.
I shimmied on some jeans (I was already in my sleep shorts for the night). Parker grabbed the keys.  I think we left the front door standing open.
If we lived in the city, this would not be a story. But there's something you should know about the small town we currently call home.  While this community boasts of having the World's Largest Rocking Chair...(yes, it has been confirmed by Guiness World Records and is a very real tourist attraction)...we also happen to have the world's second smallest Walmart (confirmed by a guy Hillary dated who worked there for several years). And the world's second smallest Walmart closes at 9:00 every night.
Parker drove like 007 and we screeched into the parking lot at 8:51.
A very old man who looked a lot like Jed Clampett greeted us at the doors.
"Good evening, folks!  Will you be needing a cart tonight?"
How much stuff could we possibly grab in 9 min?
"No, thank you."
We went straight for the men's clothing rack.
No, I didn't forget to add the /s/.  There is only one rack.
I was not hopeful.  This particular store has let me down on much more common items than men's bike shorts...qtips, toothpicks, there is no end to the things they are out of.
But, wonder of all wonders, there were two pair hanging there.
We headed to the dressing room.  Where we rang  a little silver bell for service.
Grandpa Clampett came shuffling along with a key.
Parker was in and out in a flash.
"They fit." he stated.
I just looked at him.
"They DO," he insisted.  "And I have room to grow into them."
I started laughing.  "I hope not! Since they are XLarge...sized 42.  I hope you don't grow into them any time soon!"
But they are spandex.
And it was 8:55.
It wasn't like we had much of a choice.
"Attention, Walmart Customers..." came a voice over the intercom.  "It is now 8:55.  Our store will be closing in 5 min.  Please make your final selections and make your way to the check out lane."
I checked my phone to see what year it was.  It was feeling a lot like 1989.
We paid for our purchase and made it out the door before it locked on us.
On the way home I asked Parker, "Why did you have to have these before tomorrow?  Is it part of the uniform?"
He gave me an incredulous glance.
"Have you SEEN the track shorts?  I do NOT wear stuff that short with nothing under it."
So we risked life and limb for Parker's pride...
I took a deep breath and thanked God that for once, WalMart and I hadn't come up Short!