It's been too long.
Too long since I've been so inspired I kick the kids off the computer, turn on the music, and stay up late to let a story flow from my fingers.
When days go by with nothing to say, I know I'm getting off track.  Staying busy with things that don't matter, and not taking time to notice the things that do.  Getting through the lesson plans but not looking my students in the eyes.  Dreading the cold of throwing the covers back instead of savoring the last minute of my husband's warm back against mine.  Keeping my eyes on the white line of the road to yet another ball game, without looking up to see the gorgeous orange sunset in front of me.
I forget to feed my soul.  And she suffers.
Saturday morning, I made the effort to spend some much needed girl time with friends...and it was good.  I was reminded for the second time in a week that we are "human beings - not human doings" and that I need to remember to BE even as I live this crazy, wonderful, necessarily busy life.
I left that happy bubble to drive 60 miles the opposite direction to watch Parker play ball.  Then left him to ride the bus home and drove 100 miles in the opposite direction yet again to watch Hubby coach ball.  Then stopped by the grocery store and my sister's house before finally dragging home.
Both my kids were lounging in front of a fire and an old movie.
I made myself a snack, kicked off my cute but painful shoes, and joined them.
I didn't really care about the movie.  But it was so nice just to be in the same room with them.  Breathing the same air, and not DOING anything.
Just BEING with them fills my heart back up...makes me vow to be better.
And now I sit at the computer, music on, because the story isn't over...

Flip the Script

What kind of mother allows boys to turn her living room into a gymnastics studio?
The kind who has had a few too many snow days, I guess.

I started the morning watching out my kitchen window as my snow-suited son and his friends from next door played on the 4 wheeler.

They went around and around, taking turns getting thrown off the board as it slid into the corner.  Little B, 10 years younger than the others, hung with the big boys like a pro, making me laugh from the safety of my warm spy-spot.  

Before long they stomped inside, spilling snow and showing off rosy cheeks as they peeled off layers and left them at my back door. 

Hmmmm...

What to do now?

How about haul some mattresses into the living room and do flips?

I had misgivings, but they convinced me they wouldn't break anything...including their own bones...and that they would NOT jump off the furniture.  

I came downstairs and tried to ignore the loud thumps from up above.

Until Little B came trotting down the stairs and said, "Fonda, I'm NOT hurt!"

I lost all resistance and went to join the fun...by snapping the flipping :)

But even I have my limits.  After THIS I gave them the "Ok...find something else to play" speech.  

This is why I love boys...the creativity, the spunk, the throaty laughs, the spark they bring to my house with their boy-ness.  God knew I needed this, even as I prayed for another girl when I found out I was pregnant for the second time.  

And, boy, did God get it right! 

I'm so glad he flipped my script.

Game On

It began as a typical snow day.  But after 6 hours of xbox playing, tv watching, and general laziness, the family was growing restless.  So I reached far back into my bag of tricks and pulled out an old favorite.
"Let's play a game."
And so we did.

Can you tell yet who takes competition seriously in our family, and who just enjoys the game?
Of course music was playing (Parker's new cd he just created on itunes).  Of course cookies were baked during "off" turns.  And of course we had to stop the game frequently to take pictures...

My arms were too short to reach the board.  And since no one wanted to make the table smaller, I had to improvise.
Due to all this distraction and loose interpretation of the rules, the kids managed to squeak out the first victory.

But then Hubby cracked the whip and rules were followed religiously...leading to this predictable outcome.

He never has been able to just let the kids win.  Something about learning to be tough and life lessons....blah blah blah.
It's nice to know that in the game of life, even though some things change...we play Sequence instead of Cootie Bug now and I'm the only one who can't reach the board....some things stay the same...we still have to listen to the kids' music and we still have fun together.
And I think that makes us all winners.

Switch

I pulled up to get Parker from basketball practice, rushing as usual with my mind somewhere else.
As he headed toward the car, he tilted his head and gave me a funny look.
Only then did I remember...he wanted to drive!
I hopped out and he hopped in...banging his knees on the scooted up seat and exclaiming about how tiny I am because I have to have the rearview mirror pointing so far down.
And since that day, several weeks ago, it has been the same routine every evening.
I wait for him in the parking lot, and when I see him coming, I scoot the seat back as far as it goes and then walk around to the passenger seat.  He gets in, pulls the steering wheel down and adjusts the mirror up...turns NPR off and LeCrae on...we buckle up...and off we go.
I try to relax as he waits for traffic to break enough for him to make a left-hand turn, and he says things like "The other day I was driving and this song was on and it made me feel bad."  To which I reply, "Why did it make you feel bad?"  And he gives me a look and says, "No...bad.  You know, cool."
I totally would've gotten that if I hadn't been distracted by the semi flying toward my door.
But we make it safely home to cook dinner and do homework and watch tv.
And the next morning when I get in the car to go to work, I scoot the seat back up, adjust the mirrors, switch the music back...and smile.

School Supplies

Hillary's second semester of college started with a free, unexpected snow day.  She decided to use it to shop for supplies for her drafting, art, and photography classes.  And she invited me along.

Fortunately, I come with a chauffeur...

Whose services include transport from front door to car door without your feet having to touch cold, wet snow.

It was kind of like old times...Hubby and I taking our little girl school supply shopping.  Only this time the supplies were much more obscure (movable fixatif, T square, kneaded eraser) and expensive (total at the first store was close to $100).  And she no longer rides in the cart.  Or sings Disney movie songs at the top of her lungs as we wheel down the aisle.  She was focused.  With a detailed list of which things might be at what stores.  

Dad was all over it.

He scrutinized product descriptions.  He scoured shelves.  He even asked a saleslady for help.

He was with her every step of the way.  Her Hero...carrying heavy things and leaping cash register lines in a single bound.

And since he had it covered....

I was able to take a little break now and then.  

All in all it was a good day.  Hillary got the stuff she needed.  Hubby got the satisfaction of being needed.  And I got to be with both of them...relishing the sight of the connection between them.  Oh, and I also got Starbucks.  

Sometimes Life just comes together...and you get to have everything on your list ;)

Soundtrack for Life

My kids and I share a love of music.

All kinds of music.

If I want to go on an adventure, all I have to do is pull up itunes and put it on "shuffle".  Soon I'm belting out showtunes, or rapping with Eminem, or caught up in a trumpet solo, or soothing my soul with jazz, or nodding my head to folksy whimsical songs about how good life is, or swaying to a black gospel choir, or even banging my head to some classic rock.  And there is always something new in the mix.  Much to Hubby's dismay, (he thinks we waste too much money on music) we keep the itunes store in business by downloading songs I heard on a commercial or songs Parker found on youtube or songs by some new rockin group Hillary learned about from a college friend.  Even the neighbor kid gets in on the action.  He doesn't have internet at his house, so he uses our itunes account to download songs to his ipod and leaves a crumpled wad of cash by my keyboard to cover his cost.  

We also burn cd's with abandon, littering the car, the kitchen counter, and the computer desk with silver discs hand-marked with things like "mom 2" and "cheer up" and "parker hip hop".  (More "waste" according to Hubby...who keeps his 5 country cds safe in his truck and never EVER sings along with the radio.)

I love the wild diversity our music choices showcase.  It's like a reflection of our souls.  And it proves to me that I managed to make at least ONE of my parenting goals happen... to produce happy people who enjoy life in many ways and aren't afraid to try new things...souls who appreciate the complexity of creativity.

I love that Parker listens to Sinatra and Black Eyed Peas and Debussy all in the same day.

I love that Hillary thinks Barbara Streisand belting "Don't Rain on My Parade" is as cool as the alternative band that's so new and unknown it's not even ON itunes yet.  

I love that Parker looks up the guitar chords so he can play "Simple Man."

And I love that Hillary writes quirky songs for her band, Kitchen Fire, as well as worship songs for no one but her and God. 

Cause life can be funny and angry and confusing and sweet.  It can be fast-paced or roll over you in soft waves.  And whatever it is...I'm just glad there's a song to go with it.

Clean

I have certainly learned the value of letting things go.  The wisdom of putting off housework to take some time for myself, or my family.  The importance of buying enough socks and underwear to get you through a week (or two) of not having time to do laundry.
But sometimes, when I'm feeling crabby, there's nothing for it but to clean something.
Dirty dishes disappear.  Clean laundry is hung in closets.  Various pieces of my family (earrings, shoes, important papers) are placed back in their respective bedrooms.
And my world starts to feel a little more under control.
The clean lines of a blank, empty countertop...the shine of a chrome faucet...refrigerator magnets lined up in a row...these things somehow pull smooth the edges of my crumpled soul and I breathe easily again.
I must have passed a little of this on to my children.  Because, while most of the time their rooms look like a department store exploded, every now and then they disappear in there...door shut...music loud...and re-emerge with a smile on their face and an armful of stuff for our perpetual "Goodwill Pile".
Fortunately, between the four of us, there is always someone feeling messy enough to keep OCD from completely taking over the family.  It keeps us balanced.
Unfortunately, cleanliness is fleeting.
It's time to start supper.
Which means pots and pans...crumbs on the floor...a spattered stovetop.
But for a little while today, my heart, my mind, AND my kitchen shined.