The Hard Part

Yesterday was one of the first nice days we've had in a long time. When I got home from my friend, Angi's, house (we had a yard sale), I found Parker outside on the driveway, working on a bike. I was grateful he was outside doing something, instead of watching TV. He said he wanted to take the back wheel off one bike, figure out how the brakes worked, and put them on another bike. I went in the house to start a load of laundry.
After a little time had passed, Parker came inside where I was. "I need some help," he said. "With what?" I asked. "I need someone to hold down the front of this bike." So I went out and held the bike while he used a wrench to try to break a bolt free. He tried and tried, but it wouldn't budge. He stood there, staring at the bike, and looking for all the world like his father trying to think out a problem. And I wanted to say, "Why don't you just wait til your dad gets home. Let him help you." I wanted to say, "Here, let me try." I wanted to say, "Just leave it alone and go do something else." But I did what was best, and what was hardest. I said nothing. I gave him time to figure out his own plan. And he did. After a few minutes, he said, "Well, I could go look on the internet and see if I can find out how to take a tire off a bike." And off he went.
I wanted to follow him downstairs and type in the search words for him. I know he can't spell, and he might not know which query to type in to find what he wants. But I did the best thing, and the hardest thing...I went on about my business and let him do it himself.
I don't know if he found what he needed. I went outside later and found him and the neighbor boy both riding bikes around the yard. He hadn't changed out any brakes, but they had put the bike back into one, ride-able piece.
Standing back and giving my kids the gift of independence is the hard part. Seeing them tackle a problem without fear of failure, and watching them shine with confidence in their own abilities...well, that's the fun part!