Boyfriends and Girlfriends

We were privileged to be invited to a fall family gathering at some friends' house last night. Hillary had her own (awesome) plans...an unexpected chance to go see Phantom of the Opera at the Fox, so it was just the three of us (Hubby, Son, and I). Feeling like we needed a little spice in our marriage, I suggested that Hubby and I be "boyfriend and girlfriend" for the evening. He agreed. Parker just sat looking bored out the window. So I asked him, "Parker, what should Dad do if he's going to be my boyfriend?"

Parker gave me that "Why are you asking me this" look and shrugged.

I pressed.

"Come on...what does a boyfriend do?"

"Well," he sighed, "be friendly to you?"

That's always a good start.

"What else?"

"And bring you stuff."

Ok, be friendly to me and bring me stuff. Sounds kind of like the dog we used to have. But I can live with that.

We enjoyed our evening of music, conversation, laughter, food, and bonfire and my husband and I realized we are a little out of practice at being boyfriend and girlfriend. But it was fun to try.

Proud Tears

Band is the one thing my two kids will get to share. Because of the four year age difference, Hillary will be out of high school before Parker gets there, and (dare I hope) leaving college by the time he enters. So I was thrilled to be able to go to ONE parade competition and watch BOTH my kids performing. Hillary as drum major and Parker as banner carrier.

I sat with friends on the side of the road and watched as the other bands came by, small and squeaky and arrayed in various colors. Then finally, they came. The Wildcat Marching Band. Compared to the others they looked like a small army. They descended upon us in ruler straight lines, playing loud and strong. Parker marched tall and precise, knees high...toes pointed, just as Hillary had shown him at home as she made him prance around the living room to practice. His face was stone and I knew better than to yell. The drill team danced along behind.

My willowy Hillary led the band with head held high and arms making sharp directive motions. And marching backwards in high heeled boots, I might add.

I couldn't help it...tears sprang to my eyes.

I blinked quickly and bit my tongue and blamed it on the wind blowing in my face.

And then a grandmother of one of the band members leaned over and said to me, "Every time I see them perform, it always makes me cry!"

A perfect reminder that there is no shame in proud tears.

Rest In Peace

It was promising to be a full weekend...my husband was leaving town right after school on Friday for a coaching clinic, it was Homecoming week (football/dance), and the band had a parade competition on Saturday. No problem. I've got it covered.

And then Hillary threw up.

I rushed home from work, Sprite in hand, to nurse and nurture. She refused to even CONSIDER staying home from the football game. She is the drum major and the band would need her to lead them while they played. And the dance was after the game and she really wanted to try it. So after a nap, a shower, and some dramamine, she climbed on the bus (due to construction at our school our "home" games are 20 min away at the next town over). I crossed my fingers and kept my phone in my hand.

She perked up and made it through the game, then went on to the dance where she was meeting her date for the evening. She told me she probably wouldn't stay late, since she had the competition the next morning, and that she would call me when she wanted to be picked up. I cleaned up the house, shared a frozen pizza with Parker, and watched some TV. At 10:00 I knew I wasn't going to make it. I lay down in bed, fully clothed, and put the phone on my pillow. Parker was beside me, watching TV.

I dozed.

I started awake. 10:50. Ok, it's all good. The TV droned.

I dozed.

I started awake. The TV was off and Parker snored softly. 11:40. I checked my phone. She hadn't called. Was she ok? What if she was sick? Then I reminded myself that she was surrounded by a myriad of teens and teachers who loved her and all had my phone number if something happened. Not to mention that she is almost 18. A handful of months and she could potentially be living far away doing who knows what with who knows who whenever she wants. If she doesn't know how to make the right decisions by now, then really, what is the point?

I don't do well without sleep.

I dozed.

I started awake. 12:00. My phone was buzzing. "Mom, come get me". So much for not staying out "late".

New dilema. Leave Parker snoozing and hope he doesn't wake up with a nightmare, panicked because he can't find me, or wake him up and make him go with me. We don't have a home phone and his cell is out of commission at the moment. I shook him, told him where I was going, got a mumble in response, and left...taking my chances.

Fog. Moonlight. Don't hit a deer. Then your daughter will be sitting forlorn outside a dark school building and your son will awake in a dark empty house. And they will wonder why you've forsaken them while you are leaning unconscious on the horn with airbag dust floating around your face. I warned you - lack of sleep makes me crazy.

I had a sudden urge of sympathy for single parents. How do you do this without a partner?

I got Hillary home without incident, climbed back in bed next to the still-sleeping-soundly Parker, and tried to relax. And then Hillary appeared in the doorway. "I'm sleeping in here." And she slid under the covers.

And just like that...all was right with the world. The things most important in my world (save my hubby who is a big man and can easily take care of himself) were right there in bed with me...safe, sound, and sleeping. I drifted off to sleep.

And I rested in peace.

God Gifts

Work has been really stressful lately. There are a lot of changes going on, which makes people uncomfortable and sometimes causes conflict and tears. Through it all, I've tried to keep my perspective...I have a life and a job...not the other way around. I have asked people I trust to pray for me, and tried to fill my soul with encouraging scriptures. And it seems to be working.

Today I walked into a room, just to share some information and was met with a frustrated and overwhelmed person who needed to vent. Words and tears flowed. My reaction was to say, "Can I pray for you?" And I did. I hugged that person and prayed the Holy Spirit into the room. And when I got back to my own classroom I thought, "What the heck was that?!?" As much as I want to be a bold Christian witness, I'm usually not. It's totally unlike me to pray at work with a person I'm not even really that close to.

Weird.

I just threw a little prayer heavenward...God, I don't know if I was supposed to do that or not. But please take care of it.

By the end of the day, I was drained. I was finishing up in my room when my two kids walked in! It was an unexpected surprise...and they had been to Mobil and had a Coke for me! I let out a little scream and they ran to me and hugged me...

And I just started crying.

They knew nothing of my day, but Hillary just smiled and said, "Is this one of those 'I love you' moments from God?"

And it was!

My sweet kids are one of God's greatest gifts to me. And the added bonus of my favorite soft drink was just a reminder that He knows me down to the smallest detail. I obeyed and he rewarded.

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows James 1:17

Irrational Behaviour

It's Monday again.

But actually, most of the day went fairly well, considering.

I got through the school day without maiming any loud and wiggly boys, stopped by the chiropractor after work so he could relieve my stressed spine-induced headache, took a walk with my husband, and snatched a few minutes to update my facebook status. Then it was time to help Parker with his homework.

I hate homework.

And so does he.

He slogged through his math, produced several grade reports for me to sign, and informed me that he needed a composition notebook TONIGHT. I sent him downstairs to check our extra supply stash, but he was certain there was NO composition notebook down there. Hillary asserted that there was, but she wasn't about to leave her spot on my bed watching a movie she'd only seen 500 times to get it for him. I insisted. She sighed huffily. But the composition notebook was found.

And it was pink.

The dirty dishes were calling my name, so I left Parker painstakingly covering the pink notebook cover with bright yellow duct tape and decided we'd come back to homework in a little bit.

As I unloaded the dishwasher I pondered why my cabinets were built for giants, causing me to have to climb (literally) to reach the top shelves. Then I tried to unscrew the coffee mug lid so I could wash it out by hand. But there was no budging it. I used a wet cloth to get a better grip. I strained with all my might. Then I remembered that my husband had used the mug last. How unconsiderate of Hercules not to loosen the lid for me. Especially since he was downstairs that very minute sitting on his butt, playing a FOOTBALL GAME while I was juggling laundry, dishes AND homework all at the same time! And just like that, she burst into the room...Crazy Woman. I marched downstairs with a crazed look in my eye and shoved the mug into his surprised and somewhat scared looking face. "Open that!" I snapped. "And then go upstairs and get 50 hangers and hang up all those CLEAN clothes and then put them away!" "Please." I added not nicely.

I went back to the sink and finished washing up.

Then Crazy Woman disappeared and I was left feeling bad for her actions.

My Gentle Giant of a husband creeped past me with empty hangers, and then again with full ones. I dried my hands and went to appologize.

To his credit, he forgives easily. He was done in 10 minutes and life went back to normal.

Until Parker said, "Mom, I have to memorize all the states and their capitals for the test tomorrow."

Crazy Woman peeked around the corner.

But I threw a dish towel at her and she slinked away.

I settled Parker on the comfy chair with his interactive, talking, states and capitals puzzle (God bless Melissa & Doug - creators of such a wonder) and made myself some popcorn.

"Washington...capital Olympia" the puzzle stated in a computer-y voice.

Best $19.99 I ever spent.

Take that, Crazy Woman!

Validation

Thursday was the big day! The small town where I teach was hosting a part of the Tour of Missouri bike race. It's a very big deal with nationally known athletes and media coverage. And Parker wanted to go.

So I let him skip his school for a day and go to work with me. Our school was getting out early so the kids could enjoy the excitement with their families. All I had to do was entertain my first graders for 3 1/2 hours.

The students noticed Parker right away. "Mrs. Temple! There's a MAN in our room!" Once I explained who he was, they couldn't wait to get him to "work" with them.

During Reading, he read with Emily, a special ed student who listened raptly with big eyes. During Math, he flitted around the room, reading directions and helping students stay on track. By "specials" time, he was ready for a computer break. When I had to pick the kids up a short 20 min later he exclaimed, "Already?!"

He opened ketchup packets during lunch and helped line the kids up when it was time to leave.

And when the room was finally empty he said, "Boy, now I know why you're so tired at the end of the day! These kids take a lot of work!"

Ahhh...I am validated.

Maybe I should take my husband to work with me next!

Reaching the Goal

I am so proud of the woman my daughter is becoming. In the last week, I have seen signs of maturity that make me burst with pride.

Last weekend, we hosted the family reunion at our house. Over 50 people, all ages, stages, and sizes laughed, loved, and ate, ate, ATE! On Sunday, we did "family church" in our living room and guess who was asked to use her talent on the piano...Hillary. She gladly agreed, even though she had no idea what she might be asked to play. As aunts, uncles, and cousins looked on, she struggled to take hymn requests that she had never even heard before. I have to admit, I was stressing for her! But she stayed calm and collected, told the people to just keep singing and she would follow along, and within a couple of times, had it down.

And speaking of talents...her youth pastor had challenged the youth group to find a way to give money for missions the next week. The goal was $20. They weren't supposed to ask their parents for it. They were to use a talent they had to earn the money. Hillary decided to take pictures at the family reunion and sell them for donations. She spent hours buzzing around...including everyone in at least one shot, and often stopping whatever fun thing she was doing to capture a moment that some relative thought might be camera-worthy. Before everyone left, she had the discs burned and ready to go. And she proudly deposited over $160 in the youth group jar the next Wednesday night!

And today, when the youth pastor and his family came over for dinner, she and Hayden (who graduated in May) sat at the table with us old folks while the younger kids chose to eat downstairs in front of the TV and video game. She listened with interest, and made insightful comments, discussing deep things, including politics and the sharing of her faith with others.

Parenting can feel like such a long journey. Some of it is fun...and some of it is not. We may not have arrived but we are definitely closer to "reaching the goal."